Often, these new year wishes contain a recurring theme: a burning wish for our beleaguered nation to get back on its feet and proceed towards peace and progress. “Let’s hope that THIS YEAR our poor nation will turn around and begin to heal. Let’s pray that THIS YEAR things will work out for Nepal and the Nepalese.” It’s these emails that prompt a discussion thread on what is wrong with Nepal, the leaders, the people. Nepalis in and out of Nepal pitch in their two bits on how they view the situation. When I first started on my expatriate stint seven years ago I remember the discussions were more hopeful and even contained suggestions for solutions. These past couple of years the enthusiasm seems muted. The wishful views seem to have turned wistful, and denigrated merely to grim diagnosis and an even more morose prognosis of the country’s health. The element of hope appears to be fading even in emails. Perhaps, because everyone is losing faith in Nepal’s situation and getting a little tired of repeating wishful thoughts that never seem to materialise.

However, new year’s day comes around every year to remind us to wish each other and reconnect. In doing so we get to vent our frustrations, express our anger and indignation, appeal to the leaders to change their ways, and to call them all manner of names. Apart from the opportunity to renew our hopes and commitments, I cherish the chance to wax eloquent on what is wrong with Nepal. Here’s my contribution to THIS YEAR:

Democracy only works in a place where there is enough intellect among the people to a) elect the right leaders and b) balance the potential abuse of power by those elected wrongly. Doesn’t matter if the leaders are stupid cos the people can use their vote to change them. “Power to the people” is the mool mantra (pivotal mantra) of democracy. What we have in Nepal is nowhere near this ideal. The people do have power though, but it is largely misguided and bent towards the destructive. This is evident by the huge mobs that appear during mass protests, some of which has been effective, e.g. in ousting the ex-king, in bringing about ‘democracy’ in the first place. Unfortunately, all this ‘people power’ has been but a handy tool for the wily leaders to use against those they deem the threat of the day. First it was the Panchayat system, then for a long time it was party against party, then recently the monarchy. But with all these shows of people power all that was obtained was the next level of uncertainty and deterioration. All this, because the people have no intellect. I say this with conviction.
And I don’t mean intelligence.

Definition of intelligence:

• the ability to acquire and apply knowledge and skills
• the collection of information of military or political value

There are intelligent people in Nepal. Lots of highly educated people with degrees and doctorates. And every Nepali is so politically aware that they can spout politics like a first grade kid recites the alphabet. But for all the knowledge and skills they’ve accumulated, sadly, they still lack intellect.

Definition of intellect:

• the faculty of reasoning and understanding objectively, esp. with regard to abstract or academic matters
• the understanding or mental powers of a particular person

The concept and practice of democracy is too abstract and, in many senses, too academic for the Nepali people. The mental powers required to process and understand objectively the meaning of a democratic society is still sorely lacking. Therefore, the confusion and chaos. Therefore, concepts of federalism and republic become tainted with ludicrous concepts of division by ethnicity and geography. And so on. Devious leaders ignite flames of division and unrest, the people follow like a herd of sheep. The Pied Piper is active in Nepal.

To conclude my ramble, there is hope for Nepal yet. But it’ll take a long time. Some day in the not too distant future the old geezers who’ve held the nation hostage for the past two decades will all croak. (Law of nature). Mr GPK, lead the way! Of course, this old guard will have molded the newer generation of leaders in their own image. So no hope there for a while. Then one fine day the people will have acquired the intellect necessary to oust the corrupt/ineffectual, and elect the right leaders. When will this golden day arrive? Well, we can start a betting pool on that. My bet is on 2070 (AD, not BS). Needs a couple of generations to flush out the poison.

I remember, when the people rose for democracy and thronged the streets of Kathmandu, it was like Woodstock had come to Nepal. There was a feeling of brotherhood; people were high on this new-found drug of freedom. Holding hands, marching forward, braving bullets, we shouted slogans: “We want democracy! We want democracy!” Some didn’t know the word well (it was a new word at the time, that too in English) so they shouted, “We want “doanye kwashi” (bullock’s bollocks). I think we got a mix of the two: demo-kwashi.

The butchers in Khichapokhari proudly display the splayed quarters of a khasi fully exposing the kwashi to convince the buyers that they are buying pure khasi ko masu (khasi meat). But that’s just the ‘demo’ kwashi. (For those not familiar with Nepali, khasi = male goat castrated through vasectomy for tender texture and taste). When the unsuspecting shopper gets home and starts cooking the meat, licking his/her chops anticipating the succulent taste soon to come, they realise then that they’ve been duped. It is budhi bakhri ko masu (tough old female goat), after all. That’s exactly what we got when we received democracy in Nepal. “We want demo-kwashi!” Perhaps we got exactly what we unwittingly asked for.

Happy New Year 2067, everyone!